Whole words, whole sight

Around this time last year, I had the pleasure of working for several months with nonprofit consultant, trainer, and fundraising specialist Andrea Kihlstedt on the third edition of her book, Capital Campaigns: Strategies That Work.

When we first got together, Andrea showed me a copy of the second edition. Being familiar from visits to the Foundation Center in New York City with the existing literature on fundraising, I knew at once the book was good: unusually authoritative, and also unusually practical. Andrea told me she didn’t want to just update the content - she wanted to make it more readable as well. She’d surveyed clients who relied on the book, and the only negatives they had reported were that some of the chapters seemed long, and the prose a little intimidating.

Andrea had gotten her publisher to agree to a friendlier, more modern layout for the new edition. That by itself would be a help. She also hoped to make chapters shorter by passing drafts to me as she completed them, so that I could recommend cuts. Beyond that, she asked, did I have any other suggestions to improve readability? In fact I did. Based on a close analysis of several chapters, I came up with some simple recommendations she could use while revising.

She was already a very clear writer, so creating a more readable tone would be easy. All she had to do was speak of herself in first person, rather than “as the author,” and address the reader directly as “you.” These changes would make her anecdotes and advice far more personable, without taking away any of her authority.

Readability could be further improved by inserting what I call “road maps”: a big map or plan of the book in the introduction or first chapter, and smaller plans or maps at the start of each chapter. This way, readers would always know where they were and where they were going next. In addition, Andrea could insert a short passage in either the introduction or first chapter, describing exactly who should read her book, and why.

All of these suggestions got incorporated. Over the next month or two I also gave some per-chapter advice as Andrea passed me individual drafts. Actually, though, she needed very little of my help once she got going. Not only is she a quick study and forceful thinker, but she writes quickly and clearly. As a slow, steady slogger, I find this remarkable - but that’s the way the writing game goes.

At any rate, if you’re a nonprofit looking to raise funds for a new program, building, or other large-scale effort, I recommend both the book and Andrea herself. Her business web site is listed under “Related Authors,” at right; and you can get the book itself from Amazon or directly from the publisher.